Category Archives: Frakking Crazy Person

Me and my big mouth…

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This is what happens when you are stupid enough to not start on time, then rush, and then have the balls to brag that things are going along GREAT JUST GREAT!

And then you publish it on the internet.

You mess up the pattern and don’t notice until 3 rows later.

THREE LONG ROWS OF 130+ stitches.

And it wasn’t a simple enough thing for me that I could just let a stitch go, go down a bit and fix the mistake.  I don’t do well with that process to begin with…  If I did that, it would just be better to frog and start over because it would all be a big fat yarny mess.

So just spent almost the entire knitting time since I bragged about how well things were going, tinking*.

Rinkety tinkety tink. 
The yarn ball fell in the sink. 
The knitter went skating, instead of just waiting,
and busted her butt in the rink.

(Makes no sense whatever, I know. It just popped into my head.)

So… Sorry Sis, you’ll have to wait a few extra days for your knitterly item.  There’s an envelope coming to Mom’s house by Saturday.  Enjoy your gift card in the interim.

*Definition of Tink:
Tink is the term used by knitters to mean unknitting or knitting backward. Tink is actually knit spelled backward.

When you notice a mistake in your knitting either in the row you are currently working on or the row you just finished working, the easiest way to fix it is to tink back to the problem stitch and start over.

It is not recommended that you tink over several rows because it takes a long time and is very nerve-wracking.

Also Known As: Unknitting, backward knitting

Winter WonderSuck…

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More like Winter WTF?!?

Not much to say here except that there has been a whole bunch of SUCK going on…as in lots of little sucky things have happened to add up to one giant HOOVER.  And from what I’ve been reading in other blogs, I’m not the only ones who has had a Hoover sort of week.  WTF?!?


It is over now – so far as I know.

I’ll take it.

I won’t take the daily afternoon hot flashes though.  Mother nature can have those back.

…and the secret knitting begins…

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…but not after two whole nights spent tearing The Chaos apart to locate my stash of knitting needles.  I had even went so far as to hit Michael’s during lunch yesterday to buy the needles I needed – knowing full well that a minimum of TWO SETS of the damn things were at home.


Luckily for my wallet and my sanity, Michael’s didn’t have ANYTHING I needed.

And I found ALL my needles last night.


So now this sweater languishes once again in the bottom of my project bag sitting next to the couch, buried under the new projects ready and waiting to go once the one on my needles is done.

Every night this week that wasn’t spent searching desperately for needles was spent going through a shitload of knitting patterns, my boxes of yarn, and my gift list and seeing who gets what and in what yarn, and wondering CAN I POSSIBLY KNIT IT ALL BEFORE XMAS?!?

You know, typical knitter crap.  You KNOW you are or already HAVE gone through all this, don’t deny it my knitting friends.

For the non-knitters, welcome to the insanity that is Xmas gift knitting.

Usually it starts earlier for me, in October or so, but I haven’t picked up the needles on anything since Mom’s birthday Damask shawl in June.  After the shawl, the weather got really HOT and I lost my mojo.  And it has stayed too warm-ish to knit until the last few weeks.

It came SCREAMING back Sunday night-along with high winds and colder temps.  Just in time to (hopefully) knock out a few small gift projects.  Now that I have all my damn needles, I think I’ll be OK.

Here’s an important tip…organizing all your knitting stuff into one general area only works if you ACTUALLY PUT IT ALL IN THE SAME DAMN SPOT.

So now after I finish off this post, I’m going to go back to watching Bocelli live from Central Park on PBS and pick up the needles and continue on with the first project on my list.

The only thing missing from this whole setup tonight is my faithful knitting companion Kitty.  I do so miss her company on these solo nights at home. 🙁

Remember the Knitting

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OK, so here I sit typing up a blog about knitting when I should be fast asleep.


Some things have not changed in The Chaos.  It hasn’t moved and I haven’t done much with sorting through things lately.

Some things have changed in The Chaos.  The Queen of The Chaos (that would be me) is shrinking.  Just a little.  If Her Majesty could get off her Royal Bum, she might be shrinking faster.  But that’s a whole new blog post.

The point is, this sweater has been languishing in my project bag for a long time.  A very long time.  I’m making it with the most scrumptous yarn (in the 07 Autumn colorway) I have ever gotten my Royal Paws into…bought in England.  Yum.  And Purrrrrrrrrr.  And if I had an entire room of it, I would sleep on it.

Yes, it’s THAT yummy.

Anyway, I had a feeling all along that Juliet would end up being too big, but that did not deter me one bit in continuing to knit it.


Well, honestly, because I have no concept of gauge and how to manipulate that S.O.B. to get it to work in my favor.  Also, well I am a short, potato shaped knitter with a warped sense of what should fit.  It’s not that I’m a size 20 trying to fit into a size 2.  It’s just that I cannot for the life of me accurately judge what size I am.  Seriously.  Measuring does not help.  I just cannot correlate measurements with making garments that fit me.

That sounds much better than “because I’m a total nutter”, doesn’t it?

This gauge imparement is why I make socks and scarves and hats.  Simple stuff for my simple brain – until I can get a handle on this whole gauge thing.  Honestly (again), if I could handle free-form knitting that ended up as something usable, I’d do that.  No pattern, no gauge, no rules – just KNITTING at it’s purest.


Anyway, back on topic.  Now that I’m not so much the large Idaho I used to be, but, still potato shaped none-the-less, I realize that my Juliet will need to be frogged and restarted.

Which does not bother me in the least, because if you have been reading me since the beginning, you know that deconstructing is one of my favorite knitting activities.

Because then I can knit it all up over and probably over again.

There goes that whole “not admitting to being a nutter” theory.


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Hello all,
Well, Spencer has given the thumbs up to the latest attempt at Pumpkin Pie, but we both agree that the crust sucks. So next time we make a pie, we’ll use a different crust and see how it goes. At least the filling recipe works – that’s the most important bit!

The other day, I was going thru my closet, drawers and container-of-clothes-that used-to-fit-and-will-again. You guys know how that goes…sigh. Anyway, I managed to get several grocery bags (ok 8) of clothes and accessories to give away. Lots of old stuff, stuff I haven’t worn in years, clothes that don’t fit anymore and clothes that I don’t care if they ever fit again.

Again, you know how that goes…

Anyway, I kept running across clothes that still had tags. Pathetic. Chaos hoarder that I am, I still had the receipts and went to Ross (that’s where I get 99% of my clothes and accessories) and got a store credit. With that credit, I bought some things for the kitchen.

I also bought a bunch of socks (damn those necessaries like that really add up quickly, don’t they – and they always all fall apart at the same time!!!) and a few pairs of gym shoes.

Which is why I’m writing this damn post in the first place. I decided while I was sorting thru clothes and more and more went into the container-of-clothes-that used-to-fit-and-will-again that I was going to have to work a lot harder to get into the damn things. I’ve got a LOT of REALLY NICE clothes. I’ve been really down about my weight lately (ok, for pretty much all my life) and thinking I REALLY need to do SOMETHING more than what I’m doing now. Riding my bike is good, but lately, I’m not riding all that often and that’s really not going to help in the long run.

I enjoy doing my exercise outdoors. So I decided that when I took all this stuff back, I would get myself some walking socks and running/walking gym shoes. And I did. That was yesterday. I walked for an hour this morning. It was cold. I’m freakin’ insane.

I finally did it. I’ve been thinking about doing something more than just riding my bike for a very long time – 2 weeks or so to be exact – actually a LOT longer, but thinking seriously for about 2 weeks. Sorting thru my clothes on Sunday turned out to be the catalyst I needed to get my ass in gear.

And it walked on the trail for an hour this morning at the ass crack of the day. It was cold. Which made me walk faster, which was good, cos you get more out of walking if you actually put some effort into it. I hurt, but that will go away with time. It’s been years since I’ve distanced walked.

Tomorrow I ride Puff. I don’t know how long I’ll go for, but I’ll be leaving with Spencer when he rides off to BART in the morning – which is when the sun comes up. You know, the ass crack of dawn. Sigh.

And the last reason I’m writing this post is that I need some help. I need a goal to work for…cos apparently, losing weight, being healthy, and living longer aren’t good enuf to get me to exercise as much as I need to…sigh.

If anyone knows of any local 5k Walks or walk/runs or bike rides that don’t cost much and are easily accessible by public transit…please let me know. I am going to do as many as I can. I need to keep moving. It’s the only way I lose weight.

20 years ago, I lost about 50 lbs. The way I did it was thru the Jenny Craig diet program and training for The Mutiple Sclerosis 150 mile bike-a-thon (MS150). I ate JC meals and rode my bike 2 hours a day. I was a lean, mean, riding machine. I kept off the weight until I got pregnant – and I STILL have that “baby weight” – even tho my “baby” is almost 16 years old. Sigh.

OK, so I’m 20 years older and can’t afford a fancy pants diet program. So what am I supposed to do?

Easy, drag my ass outside to move every day – for now that is riding or walking – my 20yrs older and 60lbs overweight body can’t take much more than that right now. Eat right, get enuf rest and all that sort of stuff. With a hell of a lot of work, and a visible goal on my calendar to work for, I can do it.

If you know of a website or a walk/ride, let me know in the comments. My ass thanks you – really it wants to curse you, but I’m making it mind its manners.

Art Art Art….

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Yes, I’m going to drive you all bat shit crazy until this doggone Art Class starts…I’m not on the bus to Psychoville alone folks…I’m taking you all with me. Hee hee hee.

After my doc appt, I went down the street for some retail therapy. Oh, and it’s not my fault that Ross is just steps away from the Art Store. Not my fault at all.

I found a set of 3 sketchbooks… 5×8, 8×10 and 11×14 sizes in a pack for $20. Can’t go wrong there. Here it all is…

and yes…that IS my Buttercup pencil sharpener! Gotta have Buttercup along! 🙂

And YES…YOU CAUGHT ME!!! I bought a new tote bag to carry it all.

It was on Clearance! (Ross of course). It’s Graphic! It has all my favorite colors! I can fit my largest sketch book in it! It’s just SO. DAMN. CUTE. !!!!!!

It said “Take me home with you please!” So it came home with me. It said “please“.

Oh, and it’s got a pocket just the right size for Ms Cow to fit in…she’s my creative partner, so of course she’s coming along. 🙂

I am ready now for my first day of class. All my new and not-so-new supplies all packed in my new bag. July 7th can NOT come soon enough!!!!

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Oh, and there will be no – “what am I going to wear to school?” in the Chaos. I’ll be riding my bike every week, so it will be the usual bike friendly outfits and the pre-requisite braids. Comfortable but not very fashionable.

Almost like a uniform. 🙂

It’s the 500th post…whoopty doo….

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OK, so it’s not as inspired and creative and all hoopla-y like I wanted it to be…deal with it.

I’ve been fighting a losing battle with allergies and finally went to the doc today. Came home with some really gung-ho meds. Nothing like some booyah drugs to take care of bidness! Looks like I’ll be on the allergy meds full time during the ‘season’ again. That’s what I get for wanting to get out and bike while it’s snowing pollen. I’ve got some nerve, don’t I?

Really sounds like I’m on something besides allergy meds doesn’t it…what DO they put in those nose sprays now-a-days?!?

Seriously tho, I’m just so excited cos after one spray up my snozzle, I’m ready to go. I’ve got lots to do, so the whole world better just step aside, I’m back…and I’m going to start knocking out some awesome stuff.

First off, Spence and I had this totally awesome Sammie Sunday planned out. Picture Kitty in an easter basket surrounded by fake grass and plastice eggs. Kinda like a “Watch out Cadbury Bunny, Princess Sammie is in da house/we’re really not amused about this” thing.

As you can see from the lack of photos, that didn’t happen. Total. Non-cooperation. Damn. Cat. Next…

My big plans for a really cool 500th post shot to hell once I figured out I needed a zillion photos to do it and lots more time than I had and more brain power than I could muster…so now it’s going to be a series. I’m calling it “The Family Jewels Series”. Not the crown jewels, altho that does give an idea for a Sammie Sunday photoshoot. And not those kinds of family jewels – you dirty minded people!!!

This series is going to highlight the artistic side of my family – as in every one is a jewel to be admired cos they are talented and I love them, etc. Which also will include Honey and his folks cos they are quite talented as well. And with everyone included, it will be a lovely, long and hopefully extremely interesting series. Stay tuned. Not only do I have to gather photographic evidence, but it all has to be organized and of course I’ve got to pull all these ideas out of my head, but make sure nothing else leaks out.

Good heavens this is getting long. Next…

Been doing a lot of reading…can’t do much else, so have been knocking back the Terry Pratchett Discworld Series… came to a halt with that one tho, as I still need to get some missing books, so have moved over to Angels and Demons for something different. Love me a good mystery, murder every so often. Next…

Working on some costumes for Spencer’s school. The drama class is putting on “Rosencrantz and Gildenstern are Dead”. I’m making 5 pieces and one Queen’s dress. Cue panic. I’ve lost a lot of time with this cos of all the stomach flu and allergy and sinus headaches bordering on mini-migranes (oh the PAIN!!!). But that’s all over now and I’m back in business. Time to start crankin’!!!

AHA!!! I’ve remembered why I’m such a spaz right now. I’m caffeinated. Forgot to tell the girl to give me decaf when I got a coffee while I was waiting for my prescription. NEXT….

Still trying to get some cool projects out of my head and off the “to-do” list and on to some needles. Shhh…they are secret. So I’m hoping the ‘Jewels’ series of posts will keep your minds off what I’m doing. heh heh heh. Next!

Working on another project called “Stitches on the Bridge”. I’m hoping to make a small panel with the Golden Gate Bridge double knitted on it…thought that would be cool to make a bridge to go on the bridge. Have the yarn, have the swatch, need to grid out the design. Thought it would be cool to get in on some “sanctioned” guerilla knitting – after, all the panels get auctioned for charity. So I’m knitting for good and not evil. Next!!

Am so far behind on my SF sock club socks. Don’t really care, I AM working on them and they DO get knit on during sock club meetups and bus/train rides. Next…

Lastly – yay!!! she’s about to shut up!!!! – got some “new” stuff to work on more things for my shop! OHHHH, and speaking of shop, check out the videos that were just posted up over at the Phat Fiber blog. D’Lnn Designs gets a shout out at timestamp 6:35 in the first video. Yay!!!!

I’m sure there is lots more I could post, but I think I’m starting to crash. GOOD GOD!!! When did it turn 8pm…I’ve been working on this damn 500th post for too long. Gah.

Not just another pretty face…

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…or should I say bike?

We’re taking a break from Sammie Sunday…if I get my energy back, I’ll post a photo of her tomorrow…

Today, Spencer and I participated in the Critical Move for The Bike Kitchen. Check out the “Latest News” section on the page…the 2/22 entry.

(Spencer and I discovered The Bike Kitchen in January. It’s an awesome place with really cool people.)

Yes, you read it correctly. Moving The Bike Kitchen by bike. In the rain. By bike. Did I mention it was raining?!?

Oh man, what an experience. Spencer and I got up early this morning. Rode to BART in the rain (I remembered that I had rain ponchos – which helped – just a little). Rode to the old location – again in the rain.

And we made 3 trips together with the rest of the folks who also came to help. Spencer had his large messenger bag…and for the second trip, actually carried some tires over his shoulder. I had my metal baskets and bungee cords. 🙂 OOOOh, on the last trip, Spencer even pulled a trailer with a small filing cabinet on it!!! And my pretty, girlie bike worked so hard today. She did great!!! She’s not just another pretty bike…she can haul with the big bikes!

The hard core trailer pullers probably made quite a few more runs than we did, but after a point, there was nothing small left for us to carry.

There were lots of bikers there with trailers and these really cool bikes. The back carry thingy actually folds down and can carry quite a bit of stuff.

Since it was so rainy out, I didn’t take my camera. There were plenty of other folks documenting the process though. One girl from a local high school – The Bike Kitchen is the subject of her senior photography project. A couple of guys from City College in SF – doing a documentary about the The Bike Kitchen. Several other video cameras and still cameras were around as well. Once they all post links and stuff, I’ll link to them and then you’ll be able to see all the folks who participated and you’ll probably think we were all crazy to do this in the rain.

I have to admit that yes, we were, but Spence and I had a good time and so did everyone there. We met and talked to a lot of really nice people. (oh, and AmpuT, Spencer got to talk lots of bikebikebikebike…with everyone.) And we got interviewed a few times for the documentaries. I’m so proud of Spencer for following thru with this…he was the only kid there. And we were the only mother-son team there. One guy even called us rock stars since everyone wanted to talk to us.

Spencer and I won’t be too difficult to spot. I had a bright orange rain poncho on, and Spencer had a blue rain poncho on…and everyone just kept taking our pictures…guess not too many parents hang with their kids?

Anyway…yesterday we helped a friend move to a new apartment…and today we did the Bike Kitchen thing.

Can I rest now?!?!?!?!