Category Archives: Chaos Couture

Purchase a Suitable Wedding Ensemble: Achievement Unlocked

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First off to answer J’s question about a date:  There is no date yet.  There is one very important thing that needs to happen before we can set a date- Honey needs to get his K-1 Fiance visa.  We’re gathering all the information, filling out all the forms and so on and so forth and plan to petition for it soon.  I’m not going to detail everything that we’re doing, but I will keep you all posted on highlights.  I’m not even going to hazard a guess at a time frame as you never know what happens with these sort of things until they happen.

The most important thing that needs to happen when Honey receives his visa is that we have to marry within 90 days of him entering the US with it.  When it does happen, the wedding will go down as quickly as possible because there are a boatload of other things that need to go down immediately after the wedding too.  Because of this, I am trying very hard to get as much of the “little stuff” out of the way as soon as possible so that when we do get notice of the visa, we can move quickly on the more important things like venues, flights, and getting family and friends from all over to the wedding.  To simplify things as much as possible, we’re having a very small wedding.

So far, we have the wedding rings.  Priorities, priorities – with those and a license, we can run off to the court house if we need to do that.  I think our collective families would kill us though.

Anyway, back on topic now please.  The most important of the “little stuff” for me personally is having something nice to wear.  I have never had an easy time buying clothes for my shape.  My torso is rather potato shaped so it is usually hard to find things that not only fit, but are comfortable and don’t look like, well, a potato sack.

Side Bar! 
I know what I like and I know what “used” to look good on me when I had a shape way back in the day a few years before I got pregnant.  Fitted bodice, fitted skirt.  Once upon a time, I had a true hourglass figure for about 2 years.  In my mind, I still see myself with that hourglass figure.  But that was 20 years ago and now age, perimenopause, sloth and so on and so forth has perpetuated the spud look I sport now.  I had to reign in the fantasy and think of what I could actually wear with my current shape.  I decided to look for something with just a tiny bit of shaping to keep it from looking like a fancy sack.

Yesterday Antonella, Spencer and I met up in the City to spend the day shopping for dresses.  I was set for a rather trying day.  Quite honestly, I expected to be reduced to tears in a dressing room somewhere by the time the day was over.  Much to my surprise, we were very successful very quickly.

Bam!  The third dress tried on at Macy’s (the first store we went into) was purchased.

Bam!  The shoes bought at DSW match the dress perfectly.

Just for the record, that has NEVER happened to me. EVER!!!!  Here’s the way it usually goes down when I need to find something “nice” to wear.  Go to every store in town, try on everything in my size, go home empty handed.  Cry myself to sleep and whine that I’ll never find anything.  Repeat several times until finally it is the day before the event (sometimes a few hours before the event), try on something that mostly fits, buy the damn thing and be extremely uncomfortable the entire time wondering if I took off all the tags and hoping no one will notice that it really shouldn’t be a maxi-dress but I didn’t have time to hem it up and I hope the safety pins keeping the v-neck from revealing all can’t be seen.

Anyway, we were done by about 2:30 pm and we went off in search of iced tea and to sit and chat and relax while I pinched myself over and over because I could NOT believe I already had a dress that I LOVED and shoes that I LOVED and both of which FIT and were comfortable – and within budget.  No more nightmares that I would be wearing a new t-shirt from Old Navy and a new pair of jeans while my Honey was in a suit.

All I will say here about my dress is what my Honey is allowed to know so he can get a coordinating tie.  It’s silver.  He says he’s getting a silver tie to wear with his dark grey suit.  He’ll look awesome, and for once, so will I because I’ll be COMFORTABLE.

The best part of my ensemble is that I can lose weight, gain a pound or two, or even bloat up like a balloon and the dress will still fit.  In other words, I can continue on like I have been for awhile now and I’ll still be able to wear my dress.  It has just enough shaping to NOT look like a potato sack, but enough ease to cover my potato torso.  Oh, and there is a very lovely, very light jacket that hides a multitude of sins.  If by some miracle I actually manage to lose weight, a tailor can still take in a bit here and there and it won’t detract from the original shape of the dress.  On anyone taller, it would hit at the knee, but because I am short and wide and needed to get a larger size, it comes down to about mid-calf on me.  I don’t mind it, so it will not be taken up.

I can now concentrate the dress energy back towards hair and makeup.  Lord knows that needs a LOT more work and I still need to find a good lipstick.

Reality and One More Thing I learned while riding my bike.

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First, let’s find out what I learned:

Ducks not only fly in a V-formation, they also swim like that.  I spotted some ducks in the canal going full blast in a V.  Spontaneously started humming Flight of the Valkyries.  It was fun. They were cute.

Even little baby ducklings will swim in a V behind their Mama Ducky.

Now for some reality:

So I gave up on the cutting down of the broomstick skirt.  Decided it wasn’t going to look right.  Broomstick skirts are long for a reason.  Instead, I stopped in at Ross with Spence today.  Found a cute mini-dress made of the softest t-shirt material ever.  On other women, it would be a short dress, on me, it’s mid-knee.  Sigh.  Anyway, it looks pretty good on its own and I’m sure it will look good over the compression pants.  Even if it doesn’t, I’ll have a cute summer dress.

Happy Mother’s Day to all my readers.  Hug your Mom’s close if you are blessed to still have them with you.  Give them a big hug for me.  Many mixed feelings tomorrow for us here in the Chaos.  Sniff.

Category: Chaos Couture, Misc, Sadness

If I had millions in my back pocket…

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 … I’d have to blow $3,695.00 on the most fabulous dress ever.

Maybe Ms Donna Karan will give a fellow Donna a discount?

Category: Chaos Couture

Remember the Knitting

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OK, so here I sit typing up a blog about knitting when I should be fast asleep.


Some things have not changed in The Chaos.  It hasn’t moved and I haven’t done much with sorting through things lately.

Some things have changed in The Chaos.  The Queen of The Chaos (that would be me) is shrinking.  Just a little.  If Her Majesty could get off her Royal Bum, she might be shrinking faster.  But that’s a whole new blog post.

The point is, this sweater has been languishing in my project bag for a long time.  A very long time.  I’m making it with the most scrumptous yarn (in the 07 Autumn colorway) I have ever gotten my Royal Paws into…bought in England.  Yum.  And Purrrrrrrrrr.  And if I had an entire room of it, I would sleep on it.

Yes, it’s THAT yummy.

Anyway, I had a feeling all along that Juliet would end up being too big, but that did not deter me one bit in continuing to knit it.


Well, honestly, because I have no concept of gauge and how to manipulate that S.O.B. to get it to work in my favor.  Also, well I am a short, potato shaped knitter with a warped sense of what should fit.  It’s not that I’m a size 20 trying to fit into a size 2.  It’s just that I cannot for the life of me accurately judge what size I am.  Seriously.  Measuring does not help.  I just cannot correlate measurements with making garments that fit me.

That sounds much better than “because I’m a total nutter”, doesn’t it?

This gauge imparement is why I make socks and scarves and hats.  Simple stuff for my simple brain – until I can get a handle on this whole gauge thing.  Honestly (again), if I could handle free-form knitting that ended up as something usable, I’d do that.  No pattern, no gauge, no rules – just KNITTING at it’s purest.


Anyway, back on topic.  Now that I’m not so much the large Idaho I used to be, but, still potato shaped none-the-less, I realize that my Juliet will need to be frogged and restarted.

Which does not bother me in the least, because if you have been reading me since the beginning, you know that deconstructing is one of my favorite knitting activities.

Because then I can knit it all up over and probably over again.

There goes that whole “not admitting to being a nutter” theory.

Happy Thursday! ***

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***This post is being re-posted because Blogger LOST the original I wrote yesterday. Thank God I have things setup so that EVERY post is emailed to me because there is no way in Hell I could have redone this and been so damn clever a second time round. 🙂


Good things today so far:

Bike to Work Day!

It’s like my own personal Halloween. My costume is my biking getup (which needs it’s own blog post) and I go from Energizing Station to Energizing Station holding open my bag and getting loads of free stuff dumped in… Haul this morning, large size of the official Bike to Work tote bag, tangerines, fig newtons, juice, various maps of trails in the Bay Area (very handy!), reflectors, lip balm, reflective ankle thingy to rein in your pants leg, a recyclable pen, a water bottle, Clif bars, and various coupons to local sports shops. Ooh, and this really cool magnetic blinky light which I still haven’t figured out quite how it works. Ms Cow got herself a wee little box of raisins for being a brave bicycle passenger (the trail is rather bumpy lately). All that was only from 2 stations. They LOVE to shower you with stuff – the list of goodies I turned down is even longer.

I hurds it trew da grapesvyn… Kalifornya waisins, nomity nom nom nom…

Paperback Swap

I LOVE this site. I’ve mailed off lots of books to good homes and just ordered 5 more for myself. Another Terry Pratchett book (Tiffany Aching, bk 3) and the first four books of the Stephen King “Dark Tower” series. Can’t wait to get them!

More Energy

This doesn’t really need an explanation, does it? Biking two days in a row and I feel great. Really should have started doing this a lot sooner.


Can’t wait to see what the “Energizer Station” sponsors have on the ride home. I’m really hoping for a new dingy-ding bell. The East Bay Park folks were giving them out last year, so I hope to get another this year. The poor thing is all worn out. It dingity-dings on it’s own now. Every time I hit a bump. Even a small bump. So I’m pretty much dingity-ding-dinging my way down the trail.

It’s like it’s saying:

“Look at the awesome outfit this woman is wearing! Here she comes wearing an awesome outfit! Look at her wearing that awesome outfit! She’s riding a bike! And wearing an awesome outfit while she rides! Make way for the biking chick with the awesome outfit! You want an outfit like hers, you KNOW you do! Cos it’s AWESOME!”



I originally wanted to write this update last night, but Blogger has been having some issues, so here it is on Friday. It’s also not going to be so clever and funny as it was last night – in my mind.

Final list of “treats” from Bike to Work Day gathered up along the way home: more maps (I’m pretty sure I’ve got a complete set for the East Bay now), a chocolate chip cookie for Spencer (and yes I did give it to him), Red Vines for Spencer, cheese sticks, various and sundry juice boxes and mini-Gatorade bottles, various and sundry chips and fruit snack bags, mandarin oranges (YUM), Clif bars, Fig Newtons, more raisins for Ms Cow, and lots of bags. About 4 more bags than I really wanted. They were begging us to take extras though, so I did and they will go this weekend to the charity thrift shop with the rest of my donations.

I was very careful this year to only take what Spence and I would use/eat – no need to be greedy. Do I REALLY need more pens when I have a drawerful at home? Didn’t think so. There were quite a few snacks because, well, Spencer is 16, quite tall and has entered his “bottomless pit of a stomach with two hollow legs” stage. Any food brought home is DEFINITELY consumed. So no waste there. The extra bags go away tomorrow and the maps I will keep in my “map box”.

At the last stop before leaving the trail, I decided now would be a good time to have a drink of some refreshing water since it was quite warm and hauling all those snacks was causing me to break out into a pretty good sweat. Well, being the graceful dove I am, I managed to dribble half the bottle down my shirt. It was actually quite refreshing since I was indeed rather toasty.


Not quite so refreshing was the small swarm of gnats I swallowed on the last leg of the trip.

Updated List: Minus one bottle of Gatorade used to wash out my mouth…

I really need to keep my mouth SHUT when I’m riding.